You know all those scenes in
Miss Congeniality where Sandra Bullock keeps tripping in heels, dropping things and being all over ungraceful and clumsy? I think that was the whole movie. Well that's been me lately*, without the quirky cuteness. Today my slapstick experience involved blood. Lots of it.
I was rummaging through my purse on Friday and it somehow tipped upside-down and all the contents fell out. No one saw, but I'm sure they heard a muffled
"shit!" come from my office. Later I was in the elevator on my way to lunch and I pulled my hairbrush out of my purse too quickly and it hit the elevator door. I said something like "my whole day has been so slapstick like this!" The guy (lawyer?) in the elevator with me said, "be careful, I think hairbrushes can be lethal."
Today I went to
One on One with the hopes they would have a fantastic used bike in their basement for me. They didn't.** Megan, the salesperson, said, "would you like to test this
Surly Crosscheck?" I didn't want to pay nearly $1,000 for a bike, but she raved about it so I gave it a try. I couldn't mount it because the seat was up really high and I started to tip over. This should've been my warning sign. I'm not used to curved handlebars or a really high seat, nor am I used to test-driving bikes in pothole-ridden parking lots in between cars. The first 15 feet went pretty well. However, when I tried to re-mount the bike and go the other 15 feet back, I tipped over. Slowly and surely
(or
Surly!)*** I fell pretty slowly but I got up, brushed the dirt off my shorts and thanked Megan. Then I looked down to see that the chainrings on the sprocket had dug into my ankle and a pool of blood had gathered undered my foot. I also scraped my knee pretty bad (have you seen
Saving Private Ryan? It's like that). I was so embarassed.
I fell off the super cool bike in front of the salesperson and a bunch of random customers! I may have well just crapped my pants. I almost started to cry from the embarassment. As my friend Heidi wiped the blood and dirt from my knee, Megan said, "Haha, well there goes your career in leg modeling." How did she know of my dreams?
Heidi bandaged me up like Dr. Quinn. I even made her blow on my knee after she applied the antiseptic. It feels good even if it looked pretty gay.
* or all my life?
** I am too tall. Were I 5' 5" or under I think I would have ridden out on the Lotus I saw. Damn these long legs! Damn them to HELL!
*** So Surly makes bikes and beer? I think I'll stick to the beer.